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His Majesty condom

Ancient Egyptian women were tired of applying the ointment of crocodile excrement and honey tincture as vaginal contraceptives, and the heavy burden of contraception fell on men’s fragile shoulders. Meticulous archeologists found out that the first ancestor of the modern condom appeared in Ancient Egypt in the XIII century B.C. Tose condoms did not resemble the thing that you wear sometimes – ancient condoms were lubricated intestines of animals. Yuck! They smelled awful and looked horrid. Other sources say that ancient condoms were made of leather, then people started making contraceptive devices from bull bladders and sheep blind guts. The modern history of a condom started in 1564, when Italian scientist Gabriel Fallopius invented a little “bag” for male genitals. At first, it was made of linen, but then they started using the coating of animal intestines, which was imbued with special medicines and inorganic salt. This condom covered the top of a penis and was fixed with the help of a pink ribbon. Why was it pink - there is no answer to this question. By the way, that mediaeval condom was not meant for one-time use, and it was supposed to be carefully washed after every use.

A condom is not simply a word, it was the last name of a courtier baker of the English King Carl II. The king asked his servant to invent something that would protect his crowned penis from syphilis. As a result, the king was offered to use a little bag, made of sheep intestines, but this time there was no ribbon on it. This device was then used by all English noblemen.

And then there was latex – thin, but strong fabric, which was produced from rubber tree juice. America is a super-power not for its A-bombs, American scientists take big care of Americans’ love life too. They try to modernize the most popular rubber production, but those novelties are not really in demand.

Practically all men complain of the biggest disadvantage of a condom – some guys say that wearing a condom is like kissing a girl that wears a gas mask. There was an idea to make a little penis hat out of a long condom – a hat that could be put on the top of a penis for more enjoyment. It was even offered to glue such a hat to the penis and then soak it out with the help of a special liquid.

Men did not like this discriminating idea, when condoms were made for men only, so they wanted such an invention to women too. Male scientists supported such an idea and invented a female condom. This is a cylinder, one end of its is closed and the other one is open. This thing is applied on external female genitals, and to tell you the truth, it causes a lot of problems both for men and women.

If you think that a rubber friend was invented for making sex a torture, then you are totally wrong. There are many other ways to use a condom, the main thing is to be creative. A condom can be used as a water transportation tank, it can be filled with 1.5 liters of water. What a useful thing is a desert! A condom can be used as a container for little things that have to be protected from moisture, for instance, secret films and other stuff.

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7 female myths about male sex preferences

Most women think that men like talking dirty in bed

Men (if they are not politicians) normally prefer action to talk. Sex is not an exception to the rule.

Myth No 5: men like practicing anal sex

The assertion may be true once a small yet important reservation ceases to exist. Most men are too shy to ask for anal sex. Some men will say “forget it” if you are the first to come up with the idea.

No matter how strange it may seem, a laid-back attitude and self-confidence are required for those men who fancy anal sex. Lots of men tend to believe that women can derive no pleasure from anal sex, and therefore the practice is rather dubious if not questionable. The misconception is built around some drawbacks of men’s upbringing. Such individuals normally repress their anal sex dreams, which end up banished and virtually extinct. Some men are too fastidious in terms of personal hygiene; others are pretty scared at the prospect of being asked by their partners to swap the roles and share an experience by using a vibrator.

By and large, anal sex can be good for some people and bad for the others. Do not worry if you belong to the latter. Your man is most likely to fall under the same category.

Myth No 6: men fall asleep shortly after sex

Fortunately, egotism between the sheets has long fallen out of fashion. Most men admit that they can be gratified sexually only after satisfying their partners. A man can make a lot of effort in bringing his woman to orgasm, using any of his tools and parts that suit the purpose. Some men are even ready to sacrifice their own orgasmic pleasure in order to perform at the peak of their lovemaking capacity.

However, this coin has its flip side too. Female orgasm is a complex and tricky thing. At times a woman can feel satisfied without achieving an orgasm. But some men are hard to get the message across; they can fight the long and relentless battle for your orgasm and thus render you unconscious in the end.

Myth No 7: men love oral sex

This is not a myth. It is reality.

Myth No 3: men like to bring foods into sex play

The lights are down and soft. You reach out for a fridge and produce a can of whipped cream. You spray cream to paint some fancy pattern on his wide chest and start liking it up with your hot and teasing tongue… Sounds pretty sexy, does not it?

But what if his chest is kind of hairy and your cream tactic is no fun any more, it is rather messy and embarrassing, especially for your partner.

Likewise, fresh strawberries are very delicate and leave unseemly stains, cakes crumble easily, and chocolates melt down and become a mess. Sweet foods look sexy only in the movies. In reality, they are sticky and unpleasant to play with. Men are believed to be strongly opposed to the use of edible sex toys. No man has ever dreamed of being covered with jam like some croissant.

Licking a drop of wine or other drink off his partner’s navel area or breast is the farthest a man can go when engaging in this sort of food frolicking. However, some men may as well take more pleasure in biting off a zesty ham sandwich in the meantime.

Myth No 4: men like talking dirty in bed

We are not talking about some tender gibberish that occurs pretty often in a drowse following intercourse. We mean screaming at the top on one’s voice such words of appreciation and encouragement as “Oh yeah, baby, gimme every inch of your love and do it harder!” Various terms of endearment (no euphemisms) applicable to private parts and positions on the killing floor are highly popular or so they say.

In actuality, men are better off without the cries of passion and lustful moans performed by women in heat. According to men, they feel like actors being shot in a cheap porn movie, and all those orders and instructions make them nervous and case damage to their libido. Most men simply hate to heart the word “more” being mentioned because it is a whammy; it makes them feel like some miserable underperformers who could never satisfy their ostensibly insatiable sexual partners.

Things get a little complicated as regards the terms of description for the male genitals. Men reportedly favor impersonal adjective constructions e.g. “such a huge one” that omit direct references. Some men frown on obscenities relating to their family jewels. The word penis seems too medical, and therefore has no air of sexuality. Member virile also sounds somewhat stupid. Men are unanimous with regard to any diminutives or flattering monikers used to describe the pecker. So give it another thought before calling his manhood “the Princess Sophie.” Likewise, “the untamable nephrite hammer” does not sound any better.

Men (if they are not politicians) normally prefer action to talk. Sex is not an exception to the rule.

Myth No 5: men like practicing anal sex

The assertion may be true once a small yet important reservation ceases to exist. Most men are too shy to ask for anal sex. Some men will say “forget it” if you are the first to come up with the idea.

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